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HOW TO BE FRIENDS WITH YOUR TEENAGE CHILDREN?
Parents often agree that handling teenage kids is a living nightmare. That is not true. A lot of parents have these misconceptions that teenage kids are good enough to make their choice of decisions and they leave them on their own to struggle through everything alone. That is what makes them a little astray and sometimes they end up making decisions that aren't good for them. If parents would consider that their teenage kids are friends, then a lot of issues might be resolved just like that.
For younger children, it is quite easy to make them understand whatever parents want, but teenage kids are big enough to follow what they believe in and they don't blindly believe in what their parents have to say. Parents and children friendship should brew rightly and then, it would work just the way parents want. Teen kids go through a lot, namely, puberty, maturity, control issues, hormonal changes and a lot more such changes. Thus, it is normal for them to behave in a certain way but it becomes difficult for parents to always understand them. Teenage kids do not want their parents to imitate them, talk and walk like them, dress like them, simply put, they don't want their parents to be their teenage siblings. All they want is for their parents to understand them and have a friendly relationship.
How can parents build such a friendship? Teenage kids are friends, is this even possible? Can there ever be parents and children friendship? Let us have a look at some of the ways a teen can be a friend. Here is a quick list. Let's go!
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Listen to what teens have to say- Conversation should be normalized. Teens always feel that no one hears them so the best way for parents to make them feel heard is to listen to them. Talk to them heart-to-heart, share the problems, ask for solutions, ask them if something is bothering them or how they are holding up with school and work. Daily conversation even over the dining table will help teen kids open up more.
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Don't pretend to be a perfect parent- Teen kids are big enough to understand that no one is perfect, not even their parents. So if a parent is trying to pretend to be perfect then they might feel that their parents are not being real to them and thus, they will do the same. They will also pretend to be okay and perfect all the time even if they ain't at their best. So, the best way for a parent to make their kids be their friends is to be real.
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Don't bully or rule your teenage kid- A teen is trying to understand what is wrong and what is right, they tend to understand emotions and they want to learn by making their own mistakes. So, if a parent is always behind their back, instructing them and ruling them, they might feel the need to hide their decisions from their parents. So, instead of that, support and let them be wrong and let them make mistakes.
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Love them unconditionally- Loving them and supporting them will make them feel safe and they will also know that they have someone who has their back even if they fall. Many times teen kids do not reciprocate love, because they themselves are busy with understanding the changes, but that does not mean that parents should stop loving them.
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Talk about the expectations- A parent should openly tell their teen kids what they expect from them, what good they want them to do and to follow. Parents should not lay the path for them but they should help them make their own path and learn from their own experiences. They should tell their kids that they expect the best from them. This will also give them a positive approach towards life and help them make healthy decisions.
Parents should help their kids be whatever they want until it is in their good faith. Teenage years can be very difficult for kids themselves. They need the right kind of push to steer them towards success. Parents should also spend more and more time with their kids. They should plan fun activities that will help teen kids to relax and release stress. They will also help the kids to open up with their parents and talk about the problems. Also, both the parents treating each other well in front of their kids helps the kids be in a happy and nurturing environment. Kids look up to their parents so be the individual you want your kids to be like.